Trust me, Beloved

Trust me. That's what the Lord has been constantly whispering to my heart. I sure wish I were a better listener. I sometimes feel like those Israelites who had eyes but did not see and ears but did not hear. I know he's trustworthy. So why is it so hard?!

Yesterday we celebrated my birthday, and Mama and I realized that it was my first birthday at home in five years. The last time, I was turning 17. That seems like a lifetime ago. I have done so much growing since then....experienced so many more aspects of life......and yet I still have not learned to obey the Lord's command.....trust me.

So much is happening, yet time seems to move so slow. Then I turn around and realize that in five months, I will be a wife living a country away from all that is close and familiar. I can't wait, and yet I can't push it away fast enough. I'm scared, Lord. I know you say I'm to trust you. Heal me of my unbelief.

Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion,
Which cannot be moved, but abides forever.
~ Psalm 125:1

I waited patiently for the Lord;
and He inclined to me and heard my cry.
He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,
Out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock,
And established my steps.
He has put a new song in my mouth--
PRAISE TO OUR GOD!
Many will see it and fear and will trust in the Lord.
~ Psalm 40:1-3

When my heart is overwhelmed,
Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.
~ Psalm 61:2b

Trust in Him at all times, you people;
Pour out your heart before Him,
for God is our refuge.
~ Psalm 62:8

Trust me, Beloved.

DIY-er

On the rare occasions that the creative urge hits me, I love being a do-it-yourself-er. I've found this happening a bit more often now that we're in the full swing of wedding planning. Part of this urge, I believe, comes from a desire not to be cheap, but to be thrifty. The wedding industry is so blown out of proportion it's ridiculous!!!

Thus far, I've been successful in transforming my mental visions into reality for the following two items:
--Guest book-esque item (I find the traditional guest book to be a waste of time since it will get shoved in a drawer and never seen or heard from again.)
--Unity candle set

It's kind of exhilarating to beat the industry at its own game. Take the candles, for example (see below). In total, I created three beautiful, unique candles WITH really cool stands for less than 20 bucks. One decorated unity candle alone would have cost me at least 25. And the guest book(ish)? $14.


DIY-ers save a lot of money and come out with really awesome products that NO ONE ELSE has. That's part of the fun--making something that's uniquely "us". While it's more time consuming to spend time making things, the sense of satisfaction (combined with the fact that I'm jobless, so what do I have more of: money or time?!) is completely worth the effort!

Blessings and Pain

I feel the need to post something of import, and looking in my heart, I realize that the ONLY truth I can proclaim that will add anything to your life is this:

Our GOD is great! HE is worthy of all praise and honor and glory! Nothing we are or have is of our own doing--all are gifts from His hand! Praise be to the Lord!

Life has been incredibly full of emotions these last few weeks (crazy: me+emotions? unheard of. right.) I spent four precious weeks with the earthly love of my life, and while those weeks exponentially multiplied any time we'd previously spent together, they were in no way enough time. My heart aches to be separated from him, and I am constantly seeking God's face as I ask him to reveal his purposes for this time.

Honestly, my hurting heart tells God that I don't think there's a point. I mean....really....I have no job here (yet). I have a 7 month period of waiting....which I'll have in Canada while I wait to be legal in order to get a job there....so why are we waiting to get married?!? The simple answer is: because God knows better. And this I must believe.

Proverbs 13:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

I am so blessed. So. incredibly. blessed. If for no other reason, these seven months will be amazing because of the time I am being given to spend with Mama and Papa before I head permanently to the north country. Mama and I have already had a great time these last few days rediscovering what a great team we make as we do things like grocery shop, clean house, etc.

And yet even in this blessing there is pain. I just spent four years in NY learning to let go of my family and find a place of comfort and acceptance being far away from them. I will be having to go through that process all over again in January after living here for so long. Again, I don't understand God's purposes, though I know he has them.

More emotions roll as I ponder my little brother's upcoming wedding. I am so proud of him! He has grown and matured in the Lord so much over these last few years (though he still loves to "affect my gizzards". To him, that will never grow old.) And Courtney is awesome. She has been a blessing to me as we become friends, and I know she has been a great challenger to and blessing in Wesley's life. I know the Lord holds them and their marriage in His hands, and I must continue to lift them in prayer as well!

So much change, so little time....Lord, may I never become complacent or so bogged down by emotion that I forget or refuse to let you work! Open my eyes ever wider to Your intentions for my life. Use me as you see fit, not only to my benefit, but to the eternal needs of your Kingdom!

Internship

Hey, all!

I finished my senior internship two weeks ago, ending my time in Rochester, NY, with Interpretek. Because the nature of this work is fraught with confidentiality, I don't have very much visual documentation of the work that I did over the last three months. I do have a couple pictures and one video I'm going to attempt to share here.

Perhaps one of the most fun experiences I had during my internship, one of the few in which I actually got to be a full fledged interpreter, was interpreting at the Rochester Red Wings' baseball games. The RWs are a minor league team that are feeders for the Minnesota Twins. Interpretek provides interpreters for all home games. This doesn't mean that we interpret everything that is commentaried during the course of a game; we interpret the opening comments, national anthem, and during the 7th inning stretch, Take me Out to the Ballgame and God Bless America. This experience was VERY exciting, and I got some free ballgames in the process! Below are pictures of opening night. Normally, there would only be two interpreters, one on each side of home plate (where I'm standing in the pictures). For opening night, we had 16 interpreters: four on each dugout and four 1st and 3rd baselines! It was super cool!

That's me on the right.

I'm between the Army band and the kids' choir.

It was FREEZING that night. It was mid april and the game temp was about 36. YUCK. It's extremely hard to interpret when you can't feel your fingers. I have three layers on, and if you know me, I'm NOT a layer person. But it was necessary.

I tried uploading the only video sample I have of my work, but I think the video was too large. The video was taped in a Master's level Social Work program that I got to interpret with my mentor all semester. I loved this assignment because it was a challenge for my interpreting skills and I got to learn tons of cool stuff without having to do the homework! If only we could end up with the degree....hmm ;-)

That's the update from here! Countdowns: 10 days till I see Rob, 11 days till I become a college graduate, and 254 days until I become a wife!
Blessings!

The Immigration Journey Begins!

As we near the 9-months-to-wedding mark, Rob and I have begun the arduous task of navigating the red tape of immigration. I'm moving to Canada after our wedding at the end of January, and ideally, we'd like it if I could begin working soon thereafter. That is not to say I have a job lined up or even that I know what the Lord wants me to do--I have no clue! That makes this task even more intimidating, as it's hard to know where to start!

I find myself with several fears which are all unfounded as I remind myself of the supremacy and sovereignty of God! He is bigger than any bureaucracy or application process. We believe he wants us living in Calgary, so he will make the way clear, legal and otherwise. I still find myself fearful, though, in my typical human distrust of anything out of my control (and what isn't?!).

We've looked into several possibilities, and at this time, it's seeming as though I won't be able to work until my permanent residency visa gets processed and approved (we're trusting the Lord that this will be the outcome--too unsettling to fathom the possibilities otherwise! Why borrow trouble?). This is feasible for several reasons, the biggest of which is that the Lord is already providing by having granted Rob a full time job starting the first of next month. We can survive quite fine on his salary, but as a new couple starting out, we'd like to both be working. Not only that, but what will I do with myself for 6 months?! However, maybe that's God's blessing of time for me to get acclimated to a new country, new city, new husband, new home and role, new culture....

Which brings me to something else I've been thinking about today. How much of what I know about the world around me--that gut, instinctual knowledge that I have simply by being born and raised in this country--is just that? How much will change? How much will I have to relearn? Yes, I realize that our nice neighbor to the north seems rather congruent with us, yet I have it on good authority from a friend who's Canadian immigrated to NY that it does have its own unique culture. What cultural faux pas will I commit as I learn to navigate their country?

Moving out of the US was never in my life something I dreamed of doing, yet here I am. I've never contemplated traveling the world, seeing the sites--I've always been content to stay close to home. It's not that I'm particularly patriotic--I'm a citizen of heaven just visiting here, so what do I care what "nationality" is attached to my name? This feeling has been brought into sharp relief as we embark on this immigration trek...it is as though everything possible is done to prevent me from becoming a part of the Canadian landscape. How grateful I am that Jesus threw the borders of heaven wide open to me!

Well, the process has just begun. We serve a faithful God. He has made all the pieces fall into place up until now--we trust that he will continue to open doors for us to walk through!

"But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ..."
Philippians 3:20

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
Ephesians 3:20-21

WOW!

Life changes so fast!

My little brother is now engaged!! He and Courtney will marry in August and move to Nashville together. I'm so excited for them!

It's rather strange, though. I can hardly fathom that in less than 6 months, I'll have a sister-in-law! She's such a blessing, though. She's really great for Wesley, and I've seen her do so much growing in the last year! I can't wait to have her for a sister; what a wonderful addition to our family!

So congrats, Wesley and Courtney! Can't wait to see where God takes you!
Much love <3

Here goes nothin'

I've come to a place in my life where I know I will be leaning hard upon the Lord. Not that this is in any way bad, quite the opposite--I just wasn't expecting such a culture shock moving here to Rochester.

I've always considered myself a city girl, but I feel like a veritable country bumpkin here. I'm living with my Deaf professor and her husband in Rochester proper. From what I could tell on the way in, this neighborhood/part of town is primarily black. I've never been the minority. Not comfortable...I feel so vulnerable, and I feel like everyone around me knows it.

At the risk of sounding incredibly.....I don't even know what.....I'm scared...scared to look at people in the eye. scared to look around while i'm at a stoplight. I don't want to live in fear! I'm just so out of my element.

Seek the Lord and His strength; Seek His face evermore! Ps. 105:4

I'm going to be learning a lot more than interpreting this semester. I pray that I let God mold me and teach me to rely on His strength and not my own. It's so tempting to wish that I even had another friend here, because wandering in unfamiliar territory is always easier with a friend. But I've got to rely on my Best Friend. He's not sent me out and just wished me good luck. He's walking beside me. Leading me. Carrying me. Please pray that I will let Him have his way in me!

Blessings.